October 2025: Mediation is a power move, not a sign of weakness

When Asking for Mediation Doesn't Mean Giving In

A lawyer once told me, “I don’t want to mention mediation first.  I don’t want them thinking I’m desperate to settle or my case is weak.”

I understood exactly what he meant, because I used to think the same way. I used to think suggesting mediation was a potential signal of weakness, like I might be showing my cards too early or giving the other side leverage.

Now, after years of mediating, I see it completely differently. When a lawyer raises mediation early, I see confidence, not concession. It tells me they understand their client’s case and want to pursue its value in a setting where the client still has control. It also shows they recognize that exploring resolution doesn’t weaken a case; it strengthens it by testing what’s real, what matters, and what can be achieved without months (or years) of costly uncertainty.

Still, when one side brings up mediation, the other often reacts as if something’s shifted: “Are they backing down?” “Do they think we will?” It’s remarkable how one simple question — “What about mediation?” — can trigger a round of armchair psychology.

But suggesting mediation isn’t about weakness; it’s about readiness. It means someone is done spending energy on posturing and wants to see if there’s a solution worth exploring. In fact, the lawyers who raise it first usually show the most leadership. They understand that disputes drain more than money — they drain time, focus, and opportunity. The decision to mediate isn’t emotional; it’s strategic.

I’ve seen strong cases settle at mediation for excellent results, and I’ve seen weaker cases gain clarity that helped lawyers focus resources more effectively. In both situations, the party who first mentioned mediation wasn’t giving up ground. They were taking control.

So, the next time someone brings up mediation, don’t read between the lines.

Take it at face value. It’s not a message about strength or weakness; it’s an invitation to explore whether there’s a better way forward.

And if you’re the one thinking about suggesting mediation? Don’t overthink it.

You’re not signaling surrender.  You’re showing judgment.